Porn is love you can see.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize