Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you traded sex for a burrito?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
