There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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