I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Plan B is the new Plan A
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
