I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
