Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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