So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
