Just mADE A PArabola og urine
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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