I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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