the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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