You're my little dorito
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am one with the molecules
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
