you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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