i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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