If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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