need another drink. this is the easiest way
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
