Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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