dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
