last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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