so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
