How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
