So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
