i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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