My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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