Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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