you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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