You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize