I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
