I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
