how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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