i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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