Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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