i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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