I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
