I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
