he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
