hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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