hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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