On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
