I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
