I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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