the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
