I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These tits shall not be calmed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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