is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
