yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
