Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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