OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
