Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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