The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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