i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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