I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
