What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
