Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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