i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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