why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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