Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
