I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Say something about gay babies.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
