I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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