i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
