I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
