Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
