ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize