i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
