Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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