ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
