I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
did you just send me my own nude
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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